Through Glassy Eyes
by Byakuei
Summary: See through Yellow's eyes as she endures one final year in high school full of tender emotions. Feelingshipping, hinted others. Yellow's POV. Lengthy oneshot.


**A/N: I was hit by Feelingshipping feels! lol that doesn't make much sense does it? Anyways, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own pokemon special, duh.**

* * *

The summer dies.

It ends with millions of tears falling from the sky as if to put out our lingering flame.

I can no longer feel the heat known as passion when we graze our skin with the lightest touch. I can no longer breathe in your faint earthly smell as I muzzle into your hair and warm embrace.

I will no longer hold you as my torch in darkness as I once walked in the mist of confusion. I will no longer search for comfort in something burnt, damp, and destroyed.

So I walk on...on the dimly lit path, out in the colorless cold that grays by day, and blackens by night.

This stroll totters between fading and oblivion, seeing no end to this poorly lit road.

Yet I move forward taking tiny steps that leave no impression in the presence of rain. And I keep on walking, zoning out everything now because nothing seems as important as before, nothing is as beautiful as before.

But as I walk on by, a soft touch on my left and a soft ring in my ears, renders me immobile. I deflect my attention to the frozen being standing at my side, dripping in black and shadowed by dampened brown. A man I suppose, but I left it at that.

It takes only seconds before I part without any verbal exchange. I make no eye contact with him and I know he did the same. I mean how can I when his hair persistently shrouds his face and the rain bombards our eyes?

I continue down my lonely path, but stop to stare at the clouded sky.

'Why are you crying?' I ask in my head. 'Are you comforting me? Are you also lonely?'

I'm insane. Of course there won't be a reply, but I ask anyway because I want to say something.

"Hey..." I whisper softly, "why is it that I can't see?"

Another dumb question. And the rain continues to pound my face.

I wipe off the droplets only to have them replaced, yet this action prompts me to recount my encounter with that man before. There is not much to recall except that he had also reached to wipe his own.

"Hey..." My voice drifts, but I'm sure no one can hear me.

'Why is it that the only thing that I notice, that touches me are tears?'

I don't voice it out loud because maybe, just maybe you might think I'm crazy, too. I tune to silence and am annoyed at my own fragility.

"Don't mock me."

I grunt, but I guess my words do reach the sky because suddenly the day turns black.

* * *

Have you ever heard about the chicken who cried "the sky is falling! The sky is falling?"

Well, guess what, it's here. In this very classroom.

It's the start of a new school year and since it's my final year, our class is having a special educational surprise. Standing in front of the class sporting a white lab coat and forest rimmed specks, he announces to the class that he would be our lecturer for the remaining school year in his grandfather's stead. His low, cool voice almost haunts my mind and sends shivers down my spine, but his devoid of emotion tone tells me he doesn't give a damn as to why he is here or what he has to do. It almost seems like he is forced to stand and breathe in futile life.

Our first encounter was at the end of summer, us out in the storm like morons waiting for mail on a

Sunday evening. It won't come, not unless the sender personally went out of his or her way to deliver it.

But I never expected him to show up out of the gray and into this painfully bright white room. Talk about crazy coincidence or just plain crazy institution rooms, he's here again just like before except... He seems even colder than before?

I don't know why I know, but I just do. A feeling welding in my gut tells me so. I can't recall his face nor his voice, but I remember the signs of tears that ran down his cheeks. The absence of a smile no matter how ludicrous it sounds, is the only evidence I need.

* * *

Remember the guy I was talking about? Well...

He became instantly popular with the class, especially on the girl's side. I never imagined that the guy crying in the rain with a broken soul could be any other than the 'Green Oak', grandson of Professor Samuel Oak, founder and head researcher of Bio-tech Advance. In other words, the guy is a big shot and might I add recently acclaimed 'eligible bachelor' after breaking up with his '3 years' girlfriend now ex.

I make no prompts to acknowledge our first meeting, seeing as we didn't really see each other the first time, but I make no move to make myself known anyway seeing as the guy would rather be left alone.

Hah! Just thinking that makes me want to laugh until I end up choking out blood. I'm insane, I know it, but a little bit of insanity may be what I need to get through 'alone.'

I just keep to myself as everyone else excites over the new lecturer, letting them keep him busy rather than me...I just can't bring myself to face him just yet, not when I can't even face myself.

* * *

Oceans aren't the only things blue.

Feeling wise I am too, and wow that is such a lame rhyme. Recently, I have thought about going out and traveling, seeing the sea and such. It brightens my mood.

It all started a while back with a stupid poem some guy read aloud after his long time crush confessed to Mr. Eligible, now it's stuck in my head and all I can think about are colors that don't have to do with me...well maybe they do...and you...and him, too.

Arggh, it's frustrating!

Why can't I just focus on the lecturer—no I mean lecture!

He's the last thing I need on my mind right now and I wasted plenty of days even weeks thinking yet, I-...

...He's not like you...I'm not like you...

We...people can't seem to find the strength to smile like everything is alright. To leave in good grace and start over anew while radiating like sunshine and breaking night into dawn. Not like you...

Your brilliant smile and glow in your eyes is ever so beautifully captivating like a rainbow painting among dull abstracts. Easy to see and love compared to confused and deliberately mind challenging portraits.

Damnit, where am I even going with this?!

I try wafting through your airy image and ridding you from my heart because I know you aren't standing here.

"You..."

I'm going crazy, I know because now I'm hearing your voice. Your gaze and smile is suddenly gone and I try to piece it back together even after trying to destroy it.

"Go..."

You're driving me insane. Stop, I don't want to hear you. Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me to leave! Can't you see, can't you see that I—?

"-the infirmary, you have my permission."

And you're gone...that's a lie, you weren't here in the first place.

I see earth brown tresses meandering against thin forest green frames and down cast eyes engaged to hard plated floor, all swirling in a glassy pool.

"No one else can see you...go."

See what? What is it that you see?

His voice almost sounds like a growl, if not for that pause I would have thought so.

I caress my cheek in familiarity to find that familiar wetness.

I don't want to see the ocean...

not when it's still raining.

* * *

Useless.

That word has been ringing in my head for days now. Ever since that incident at school I haven't been able to...try.

I wonder why it has to be so hard? Why does it take so much time?

Moving on is something we all have to do. That's right, I can't keep living my days like this. Like a wet bag with a gaping hole flattened by garbage. Thrown out because it is no longer capable of performing it's general duties.

...

Oh wow, is this what I really think of me? When did I become so pessimistic?

What happened to the me who smelled of honey and flower? What happened to the girl who was warm like the sun?

Oh right, the season where she was most lively ended with the worse. This is bad...I'm starting to feel another storm rage out of control. I'm friggin sick of the stupid floods caused by my weak resolve. I can't stop it, I can't.

Did he just call on me? What the heck! I'm having a moment here and it's not the kind I want to share!

Huh? Bathroom? I didn't ask to go...AH! I mean...I have to go really really bad!

I've been so lost in thought that I forget I'm still in class. Gee, I wonder why Mr. Eligible is always there to pull me out of my reverie. Maybe I should start believing in fate.

* * *

Going up, up, and then it's down! Woooooohoooo!

I really am crazy hahaha. Leesen to de voys eend yo minduh, muahahahah.

Actually, I shouldn't be celebrating. I just saw my grades.

….

….

Don't ask!

….

Okay, so I haven't been doing too well lately.

But I can't help that my head is up in the sky and the thoughts I have come pouring down and shattering against concrete, spilling over like...I'm not gonna go there.

I sigh...I'm really not going anywhere, am I?

"Except down."

Woah! Who said that?

I look up to see the Oak substitute staring at a sheet in his hands.

"Did I say that out loud?" I ask, laughing nervously. He answered me with a nod.

Eh... when did he get there? And even bigger question, "Where am I?"

"...Supplementary lessons. You'll need them if you plan to graduate."

I drop my head to the desk with a loud bang which I'm sure even gave almighty Oak-san a scare.

...Down, down...

Is it me or is it strangely quiet? I scan the room for other life signs but I find no other except for his and my own.

"Are we the only ones here?" I gulp. Another nod.

"No one in this class is stupid enough to fail this class purposely."

That's a lie. I know plenty of girls who would love to be sitting here right now, with one of the most wanted man in the region.

Like a psychic, he read my mind.

"I made my intentions perfectly clear. If you had paid attention, you wouldn't be asking any more than this."

Ah...he's right. I haven't been paying attention to his lecture, but I have noticed the stiffness and recoil in the students.

"What...what did you say to them?"

The corners of his mouth twitch upward slowly and he finally faces me. A coldness sweeps through my body as goosebumps form. The glare on his glasses makes it impossible to read his expression, but I know for sure that the formation of his lips...is absolutely not a smile.

* * *

"Help me...please."

My voice nearly croaks and my eyes are brimming, tears hanging by the edge.

"I have no one else to turn to."

A thick, painful flick across my forehead sends me flailing back to emphasize the searing pain.

"Why?!" I exhale, rubbing my sore spot.

Tutor-san holds my score sheet in front of him, marked with plenty of red. I grimace while he sourly glares at me.

"What aren't you getting? We've been over this before."

"I-I still don't get it? Math has never been my strong point..." I mumble the last bit knowing fully well it was an excuse he would never accept.

He sighs in frustration and rubs his temples.

"Asking for my help and not trying is the basis of your downfall."

"Maybe you're just not a good teacher." Another flick.

SO EVIL!

I glare back and then sigh.

"I just don't get it...no matter what I do, I just can't seem to piece it together like you. Sorry I'm not a genius." I lace the last part with sarcasm.

"..."

"Hey, why didn't you say something?" I look up but he turns away, suddenly going beyond quiet.

"Just because I'm a genius-"

He didn't deny it!

"Doesn't mean that I get everything..."

And he feels distant and cold again.

Up until now, I never asked him what his problem was and even if I did he probably wouldn't tell me.

He stares at my score sheet, analyzing it again.

"Hey Mr. Always-Right," I call, trying to lighten his mood, "Your gonna burn holes into it if you keep staring at it like that."

"I kinda want to right now," he replied half serious, picking up my instigation.

But he falls silent again and he mutters something along the lines of...

"...just like paper...huh?"

Later that night after going separate ways, I recall his last words. I can't sleep because it echoes inside my head even though it was hardly a whisper.

But maybe...I'm bothered because I know what he means.

I'm just like the score sheet. At first a blank piece then filled with problems and most of them are marked by you and your color. It is so distinct and obvious that you still take up most of my mind, my heart. I'm marked and it's too late to change the answers.

* * *

"Green!" I call, while knocking on the classroom window. School is out for the day, but he always stays afterward. I only stay when I have lessons with him, but today isn't one of those days. I forgot the book he lent to me, a book on the 'correct steps to figuring out the solution' stuff he always tells me about. I haven't really looked at it yet, but maybe I should. I mean, I can't always depend on him to 'show me the way'.

I wait at the door for another good minute, yet he hasn't answered. I peek through the window to see if he is still in.

Hmm, I wonder why I didn't notice that the lights were off?

"I guess he isn't here..."

I am about to leave until a small light sprouts in the dark, giving me a fright.

Peering closer, I realize he really is here! That jerk, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

"Stupi-" I shut up just as the word almost completes, but it seems as if he had heard nothing.

I can't call out to him right now.

He clutches his phone tightly in his grasp and stares alarmingly close before clenching it to his forehead in anguish. The light turns off on his cellphone, but the glassy streak is still clear in my mind.

I walk out the school entrance leaving the book in the classroom and stare off again. It's just like that day again.

The clouds are gray and the sun is gone. They're shifting and darkening and by all means I know the meaning.

"I should have brought an umbrella."

And I start to hum darkly, "Back to the end and back to the beginning. 'Roud and round, it's never ending."

* * *

Lost again, that I'm sure.

I'm a coward that adamantly refuses to bring up the topic, but I have no clue what I should do to get through this anymore. When I thought things were finally clearing up, the sky comes falling down on me again.

I don't have the courage to face you, to face him, to get it over with and finally be done with this tragedy! I tell myself instead that I am fine, that I have been moving along perfectly fine, and the sky will clear up eventually. I'll be able to walk in the light again.

But all I've ever done is walk in the cold and wet, without leaving an impression. There's no clue that I have walked. There's no evidence of me moving on.

I'm stuck in the gray of my own thoughts, cloudy as ever and hiding away from the truth. That you were my sun and made my day, but I'm trying to conceal you behind the thickets of my sorrow.

Hey... do you remember that chicken? Did you find her? I'll give you a clue, but I'm sure you already know the answer.

The sky is falling, the sky is falling! And with a grim smile I say,

"My world is drowning, my world is drowning."

* * *

And hell really did freeze over...

Why? Because it's spring but it's still as cold as winter. I can't believe so much time has passed and only a few more months before I'm finally out of here. Hopefully.

But you know what still sucks?

Nothing has dried. Actually it might be the drowning period.

I look out the window and think,"Worse year ever."

"And you have the worse grades in the class."

"I'm already feeling pretty bad, are you trying to make things worse?" I'm irritated at the moment and I don't normally show it, but when he's around I don't feel the need to hide.

I wonder why? I mean before, I was all smiles and rainbows and now I'm like...well, this.

"Things can't possibly get worse because at this rate, you really are failing."

I slam my head once again. Got him again, hehe.

"Don't do that anymore, you need all the brain cells you have left if you still dream of passing."

I almost snort, but stick to just frowning, however that doesn't stop me from creasing my forehead and neither does he.

"At this rate...you'll have to repeat the year." What is this? What is this weird sound I hear? It almost sounds like...like concern.

My eyes widen like saucers, "You care?"

He flicks my forehead again. "Didn't you say I need all the brain cells I have left?!"

"I was wrong, losing a few more won't change anything."

"And when have you ever been wrong?" I challenge half expecting him to reply with a conceited taunt.

But he doesn't. "Right now. And a few times before that. Why do you think my ex left me?"

I gape. There's a moment of silence before he sighs.

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?"

I nearly fall out of my chair.

"You really wanted an answer?" I almost shout. He just shrugs.

"...Maybe."

So I think, using 'the brain cells I have left.'

Obviously, I couldn't come up with an answer. "I don't know."

Of course I don't. Asking me is pointless. I can't even solve a few math problems, how the heck can I solve his?

"...W-why are you asking me?" I ask hesitantly. I didn't expect this out of him. I want to say it was unnatural, but to be truthful it feels pretty great at the same time scary. But I'm finding it hard to bear with because of the lump stuck in my throat and the insane pounding of my heart.

But he casually shrugs and turns away.

"...I don't know?"

My heart nearly gives out, but I realize something.

We are both a pair of idiots.

* * *

Since it's my senior year, this means that I have to make everlasting memories and whatnot. One of the things I must absolutely do is attend the Senior Ball, like the average person.

Ah, but unlike most people, I am not up to it, but I had a few people whine at me and physically drag me to go with them.

Most people call them 'friends', I call them 'fear for my nightmares are real."

Hahaha, I'm just joking. It's been a while since I have.

So here I am with a few friends dressed in satin dresses and glossy makeup, although not much.

I feel instantly awkward as I hit the floor trying desperately to move my stiff hips. I feel like an action figure with bendable arms and legs but no matter how I move, I always look...fake?

At some point I give up not caring anymore.

I know this is meant to be a special night, but every second keeps feeling like a bother.

I just want it all to end.

Having walked out of the ballroom, I catch my breath and whisper to myself, "...alone again huh..."

"...Says who?"

Eep! I bump into a wall and scatter to the floor as I stare frightened by the green eyed beholder.

"What?" he asks irately.

"D-don't do that!" I exhale, still breathing rapidly.

He looks at me oddly and offers a hand to help me to my feet. I accept.

"Do you want to go outside?" he asks. I nod, feeling flustered in the hall and at my fall.

We don't go anywhere far, just a small park near the hotel the ball is being held at. To our luck, swings are available and I make a dash to snatch one first.

The air out is calm but slightly breezy. It's not cold, but not warm either quite to my liking. The night would be prettier if the sky wasn't so cloudy.

"Sorry." He immediately apologizes and I give him a glance of confusion.

"For what?"

"You came with someone, didn't you?"

I nod and then shake my head furiously.

"I'm here with some friends, but I don't have a date."

"Oh," was his only reply.

We sit there for many minutes just swinging, well at least I am. Green is just rocking slowly back and forth deep in thought.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" he asks out of the blue. I almost fall out of my seat but I latch my hands onto the cold chains pulling myself forward.

"Why would you?" I gasp not getting what he is thinking.

"Nevermind," he quietly mumbles.

What gives? Now I'm really curious, but it looks like doesn't want to say anymore so I try to come up with a topic changer.

"Um, how does it feel like coming back to school?"

"Annoying," he replied straightly and I almost laugh.

"You didn't like high school?"

"I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it either"

"Why?"

He sighs.

"I guess it's because every day of it felt the same."

"Every day of your high school life felt annoying," I state.

He shrugs. What a flaky guy...

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" I continue.

He sighs again.

"It just felt like there wasn't anything worth my time."

"What about your friends? What about making memories?"

"I was probably only able to make it thanks to them."

"You almost failed?" I choke out, shocked. He gives me an apprehensive glare and scoffs.

"Not even close. I'm a genius remember?"

Sometimes I think he needs to get his head deflated.

"But they kept me sane," he said in a hushed voice. "They kept me from throwing everything away. They kept me alive..."

My heart starts to pound and I hope it stops because if it keeps up, I won't be able to hear his words anymore.

"I'm not suicidal."

I relax the tension in my shoulders as I relieve my mind of possible gore.

"I saw the world in black and white. But then they smeared bits of color and created values. But at the same time, I couldn't achieve the color I wanted."

"A color?"

"Yeah..."

"Which one?"

"...I don't know...but I will when I see it."

"What about now? What color are you seeing now?"

"Black and white."

"What happened to the other colors?"

"Part of my old portrait. I'm trying to fill out a new one."

I nod, understanding every word.

"...What about you?" he asks gently, leaving room for me to decline. My breath hitches, unsure of what to say.

"What does your world look like?"

I decide to answer with the first words that came to me.

"Black, white...and red."

He looks at me curiously.

"Because it lets me walk away from the things I try to hide, but the suffocating smell of something burning reminds me of things I can't forget."

I think I'm starting to get it. The reason things turned out this way.

I feel myself tremble.

"You'll be fine. I'm here."

"I thought you didn't care..." I mumble half joking.

"I care about the time I spend on you," he says harshly, but underneath I know he doesn't mean anything bad by it.

"Really, because I really care about the time I spend with you." I smile cheekily before blushing, realizing how forward I was being before shyly adding, "b-because y-you...it's fun..."

I see him turn away stating in a soft voice that he agrees.

"Going back to school...it's not so bad." He left off something really important to say, I can tell.

A moment ago, I felt like crying and now I feel like laughing.

* * *

Somehow I came to the conclusion that maybe I wasn't at fault. And maybe I started to believe it. And maybe, even just a little tiny bit...I'm starting to move on.

I look at the test sheet once more.

"Hand it over," I wave my hands at the practice exam.

Green raises a brow.

"Just wait and see," I tell him. Lately, I've been feeling more confident about my studies. My teachers gave me some slack and are giving me a final chance to show improvement. I'm just a month away from graduation, but I definitely won't fail.

I might not get everything right but maybe I'll figure out just enough to get me through.

"What, you don't think I can?"

He smirks. "Who do you think I am?"

I roll my eyes at his cocky behavior, but this has always been normal for us.

He then ruffles my head and hands me the test.

"You are the amazing Green-sama who has imparted his wisdom upon this undeserving student Yellow."

He flicks me on my forehead again but not as hard as usual.

"I'm the one who has the most faith in you."

I blush. I really didn't expect that from him...

"Here," he says, handing me a small box.

"What is it?" Again, I'm taken by surprise. "A good luck charm?"

"Congratulations."

"...Eh?"

"Hurry up and get started, we don't have all day."

I begin my test, filling out the no longer blank sheet, while feeling a searing sensation the entire time.

Is it me or is it burning up in here? I fan my cheeks hoping that the flames will dwindle, but it only seems to enlarge. My pulse raises and I feel confused. This isn't good, I just started the test and I'm already feeling anxious. But it's not the test I feel anxious about? I glance around trying to find hidden clues as to why I may be feeling this way.

The moment my gaze lands on Green, I feel the temperature raise to the roof.

He's sitting coolly behind his desk, his tie slightly slacking and the first two button of his shirt undone. My gaze travels from his bare neck to his jaw line as he takes a sip from his bottled water. I see the thumping of his adam's apple with every gulp and my throat feels suddenly dry.

Beads of sweat trail down his sculpted face and his cheeks are slightly pink due to the heat.

I nearly knock my head to my desk when I come to a conclusion.

Oh right...summers back.

* * *

You smiled didn't you?

I saw it, I know I saw it!

Last week I saw you shopping at a trinket store!

Why were you there?

….Who were you with?

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Stuck to a piece of gum and adamantly being crushed by a foot?

….I thought maybe...just maybe...you were my one and only ally...

...or at least...someone I could share something with...

whatever that 'something' is.

You left that store with a brunette hanging on your arm and on both your faces a stitched on smile...

What is with this? Why am I feeling so devastated?

Why are you...Why am I... What are we...?

And I feel my self sinking further. I haven't felt this down since...since...the end of last summer.

I'm trembling, shoot, I need to calm down. What's with me lately? Every time I think of you I start to feel...weird.

Hey me, have you realized anything?

Think hard, really hard because I'm sure you can get the answer. You've been on a roll lately and it's not going to stop any time soon.

"Oh," I whimper to myself.

Right, of course I'm right because I know this feeling.

"You're avoiding me."

"Eh?" I look up from my desk to see us alone again. Crap. I feel my pulse escalate and I can't seem to calm down. My panic causes him to look at me suspiciously, but I think he brushes it off as me being weird again.

"I-I'm not avoiding you," my reply comes out meekly and I'm sure he senses the lie.

After seeing you...comfortable with someone other than me, I felt a sort of nagging feeling in my chest that I can't brush off. I think back to the time when you talked about color and stuff. My chest tighten. Did you finally find the color you were looking for?

"Here, it's for you..."

"Huh?" I stutter, snapping out of my reverie. Another trinket?

"...Congratulations."

Eh? What's he on about this time? He can be so weird sometimes.

"But...you already gave me a gift..."

"It's your birthday." I think I almost died when my heart skipped a beat because I really thought it gave out.

But you just gave it a reason to keep going.

"...When did you become, 'you'?"

"What?" you glance at me quizzically.

"N-nothing," I stutter, "just talking to myself..."

Ah, but there's no way I can hide from you when you are always here.

* * *

Ever since that night, you've been on my mind constantly. I see you in the day, but you're a totally different person until it's just the two of us. I feel like I'm the only one who sees you, who gets you.

And I feel extra special because of that.

Don't ask why because I don't have the guts to tell you so just let me feel happy for a change.

Let me feel important again.

"Isn't it great? The school years about to end." I beam. It's only the two of us.

Supplementary lessons have been over for a while now, but we still meet up after school sometimes.

"...Yeah," he replies with something less than enthusiasm.

I huff, knowing he was a bit of a downer, but this was definitely out of his norm.

"What's wrong, you don't seem that...energetic lately." What? What was I suppose to say?

You are so depressing, I'm worried you might jump off a bridge? You already said you aren't 'suicidal' and I've decided to take your word for it.

W-wait, don't read my mind! OW!

"Hm, seems like I do have a bit of energy left. Care for some more?"

Meanie. Cold-hearted, unsocial, idiot, moron, OW!

"I know what you're thinking, just stop." Grrr...sometimes I just want to- OW?! Gods, what now?

"Heh, you should have seen that coming, how slow can you be?"

"What's the deal?" I seethe. Please don't leave a mark, please don't leave a mark.

"Nothing." He shrugs.

"Lies," I berate. "You don't want to talk and suddenly you're...affectionate!" Not in a good way.

He shrugs again. There's something he isn't telling me. It hurts that he's trying to hide something. I thought...I really thought we finally...

"I'm going back to my hometown after graduation." You finally speak.

I can't breathe.

"I'm not coming back here as far as I know. My stationing was due to my grandfather falling ill. He'll be back before the next term so I won't be needed anymore."

You're lying.

"I'll be heading a different research when I get back. There are some corporates who've taken notice-" blah blah blah blah blah...

Tell me you're joking...

"After that...I-"

"I'm going home." I get up alarmingly fast, startling you.

"Yellow?"

"Sorry, I just remembered something," I whisper before running off.

I don't want to hear the rest of it. I don't want this to end.

* * *

Yesterday was the last day of class. For now, we have time to prep for Graduation. I'm almost out of here, but there's a weight in my chess. For so long I had waited for the year to go by, but now that it's over, I'm wishing it wasn't. It's been painful, bitter, and full of tears. But you were there. You're still here and I don't want you to leave. I can't reach out to you right now. I can't speak to you right now. Why? Who made up that rule?

You're talking with the staff and helping with the graduation arrangements, but I want you to be next to me right now. But all I can do is stare at you from afar so still, as hoards of students make way, trying to claim seats with their important friends.

You're the most important one to me, but I can't be next to you. I can't speak, touch, or even make eye contact.

Oh no...it's happening again. The grip on my heart becomes too painful to bare, but this time, I don't have any clouds to hide behind.

"Yellow..?" I hear your voice. It floats to me from just a foot away. Are you really there? Am I not hearing another illusion?

Someone, anyone, for once please answer me!

"Tell me...I'm not alone, I'm not crazy," I whimper. I reach out for the first time to you, hoping you're really there.

I'm reminded of the first day we met, out in the rain like a couple of idiots. We both had our hearts broken and in the middle of a storm, we were the only ones there. We didn't speak, we didn't even make contact, but amidst it all, we at least shared something. This time, we're not alone. There's too many eyes on me as I cause a scene, my own little storm. And this time, I'm the only one shedding tears. My hands drop to my side, not wanting to find out.

I can't reach out to you...

You aren't there...

You won't be...

* * *

Everything went by quickly and graduation just ended. What was suppose to be one of the happiest days of my life feels like the crappiest.

I walked the stage and received my diploma, but all I could think about was you and the gifts you gave me.

I start to cry now that it's all over, passing it off as tears of happiness which is quite the opposite. I wear a fake smile so that no one else will notice, but you always do, somehow.

You come up to me, congratulating me for making it through while telling everyone else the same thing.

I don't want your words, not if they aren't really meant for me. Still, I won't blame you since it's part of your job.

You never got close to anyone beside me...but I should have realized you were planning to leave all along.

Our exchange is brief and short and then we are swept away by the tides of people, balloons and flowers. The words I want to say, will you even hear it? Amongst all this clamor?

My inner turmoil tells me no because I'm already drowning, choking on words.

I hope it rains. I hope a huge storm suddenly turns up and that everyone will scatter to find shelter. I'll stand right here, waning between a gray and black world.

* * *

Sayonara, this is the end.

I lied. Nothing ends that simply.

I am suppose to walk away with my chin held high, but my legs refuse to move. Even after my friends have already waved goodbye and my family tells me to move it, I don't.

What have I been doing up until now?

Where have I been going?

Up, down? around and around? Stuck in a never ending loop?

How silly, what idiot gets tangled in a senseless loop?

"Idiot."

Urk. Nope, nope. I'm imagining things.

"How long are you gonna play dumb?"

I try to look up, but I can't. I'm tired. If you're going to leave, just leave already. I'm tired of seeing you.

Flick.

"Stop it!" I yell, surprising my family and friends, but you aren't fazed at all.

"Then stop avoiding me."

"I wasn't." I'm lying, why do I keep lying?

And you sigh, heavily at that.

"Look at me."

I can't. I'm scared of what will happen when I do.

"Yellow..." My heart beat increases and my cheek flushes. I'm happy and sad at the same time now that I have your full attention.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

My lips tremble and I feel like crying. Didn't I say I was done with this? Done with the tears and pain?

Why do I keep repeating the same thing over and over?

A gentle pressure cups my cheek, surprising me. I look up only to lock eyes with you, but in doing so I feel an immense amount of guilt. It's a trap and I completely fell for it.

"If you won't talk, I will, but look at me while I do."

Your hands fasten around my face keeping it in place as if it would fall off any second.

"Isn't it time that we stopped running away?"

"I wasn't..." I sniffle. Gods, I can't do this. I feel like I'm breaking, but the only thing keeping me together is you. The worst part is what's breaking me is you.

"You left before I could finish explaining everything. I didn't get to say everything I wanted to say."

I know. I was stupid and only tried to protect myself.

"I'm sorry," I gasp. Instinctively, I place my hands over yours, longing to keep you, to hold you.

"You're not the only one hurting..." It's too painful, please don't look at me like that!

"...I know. I...didn't w-want to, to say good-bye."

When I'm around you, I can't breathe. When I'm around you, I don't suffocate.

"I never planned to..."

When I'm around you, I'm full of tears. They are the first things I knew about you. That sad look without the slightest chance of a smile, so forlorn under the hail of millions of droplets I know are meant for you. So now I wonder, why?

"You...y-you're confusing..." I hiccup. Why is it that even consumed in the wretches of torture that I am mystified by your presence?

"Yeah..." you smile, "you and me both."

Can I laugh right now? Would that be okay? Will we be okay?

The look in your eyes entrances me as you say the lines that break my footing.

"Why the goodbye, when we never said hello?"

But it's okay, because I'm only falling for you. Whether I'm headed up or down, around and around, you'd be the one with me.

"I kinda wish I could have said hello back then," I giggle. "I wish I could have spoken to you more."

I'm tired of turning away from you. I'm tired of being apart.

My image of you is distorted and blurred, but I feel like I am the only one that can see you so crystal clear through these glassy eyes.

"I wanted to ask you to come with me to my hometown. Nothing seems right without you."

And I'm sure we feel the same, only ever blaming the rain that fell from our own clouded eyes.

But it's okay this time because they are for you.

It doesn't matter if it isn't cloudy. It doesn't matter if it doesn't rain. As long as you are there, the world I see will always be beautiful.

"Can I ask for something, too?"

"Nothing's stopping you."

That's the best truth I've ever heard.

"Can I color your world?"

* * *

**The End.**

**A/N: Mah gods that was long, phew! Done and over with. I hope you guys like this. I kinda started rushing because my brain was turning into mush. Review please.**

**FEELINGSHIPPING FTW!**


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